Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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