Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
