when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
