They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
