im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
