I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Randomize
