Will you blow on my dice?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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