Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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