i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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