Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
