That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
