I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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