Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
