i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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