i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
