Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize