3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You made out with two different species that night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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