WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
