Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
