This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
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