3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
