so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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