He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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