I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
