There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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