My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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