He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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