WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
