Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
