I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wish you could order shots online.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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