Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
