Is it normal to miss your booty call?
thus making me awesome and them whores
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize