and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
