wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
