I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize