I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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