brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
