I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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