if i died would you start the facebook group?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
