That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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