do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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