you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize