That's when you crack a 10am beer
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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