Yo dont text me then not text me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
