PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
