K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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