i can't believe i had my finger in that
there was a trapeze. enough said
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize