i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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