was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
