I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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