Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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