Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
When are your genitals available?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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