matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
