did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
